Enjoying The Holidays While Staying True to Yourself

We all know that things come up for each of us during the holiday season. It’s not even always a difficult or negative thing.

I recently sat with a new client and she was telling me how much she was looking forward to the holidays because it’s always great when everyone gets together in the family home back in the snowy Midwest and they light the fire, sing songs, catch up and eat great food.

Her story actually surprised me because as a therapist, I usually hear a different sort of story as the holidays approach. I hear the concerns, conflicts and losses that stir for so many of us at this time of year. There’s a cultural narrative and archetypal promise of joy and connection as we light up our surroundings and open up our gifts to share.

Here are my healing strategies to stay grounded in your body, heart and soul at the holidays:

•    If you’re literally traveling somewhere called “home” during this holiday season, give yourself the gift of some moments to sense into your body.  Moments to come home to your body. Begin gently scanning from your feet to your head and simply notice what’s present or not. Is it cold or warm? Full or empty? Vibrating or flat?

•    If you’re gathering with family and friends after a recent loss, if this is the first holiday after someone has died or even if it’s been decades and their absence is present for you, don’t fight it. Allow yourself to honor your tender and grieving heart. There are many ways to honor this from collective ritual (could simply be including a picture of someone in the living room) to writing a note or journal entry, to finding someone to share with at times. Allow yourself to touch into this place in some real way for yourself. There maybe others around you needing the same thing and hoping to share.

•    Stay in touch with someone who reminds you of who you are now. It may help to contact a friend outside of your holiday gathering or commit to yourself that you will have these contact points throughout your time away.

•    Respect for your own values can easily get slippery during a heavy time of pressured consumerism. Waste and excess are everywhere for those who have and much less for those without means. Consider possibilities of re-gifting, recycling, and contributing to meaningful organizations through your service or through donation.

•    Enjoy yourself! In these difficult times on our Earth, we need each other as much as ever and more. “There is no time not to love”, as my teacher, Deena Metzger says. Take time to rest and enjoy those things that do bring you light at this time of year. Replenish yourself for the work you are called to offer in this life.

Please share these tips with anyone who may need this support.

Want to work on a customized strategy for you, prior to, during, or after the holidays?

Connect with me for an in-person or phone session at donna@donnaganstherapy.com